I want to make absolutely clear my position on water: I am all for it. Water = good. In fact I have it on good authority that water is absolutely essential for the existence of life on Earth. Don't believe me? Take a look at the Sun. No water there, see any life? I don't think so. Still not convinced? Check out Mercury. Same deal. I win.
I'm not normally prone to over-embellishment, and I'm aware of the old adage that 'the best way to lose an argument is to overstate your case', but on this issue I will not budge. I'm for water in all its forms, be it tap water, or...whatever other kind of water that may or may not exist. Well, in regards to the kinds that don't exist, I'm on the fence, as their lack of existence has restricted my ability to form an educated opinion on them. Oh, rain water, that's another good one. Except when I'm outside with no coat. Then I'm against it. Damn, I'm flip flopping. Moving on.
Here in Australia, there is a shortage of water. There are much more severe water shortages in other parts of the world, but don't panic: they're really far away. Phew!
So, let’s look at how to handle the water shortage in the country that matters: This One. For one thing, you can forget about hydrogen powered cars. Waste of water. Washing stuff? Forget it. Washing yourself? Thing of the past. Putting out fires? Uh uh. You gotta let that mother burn.
I saw this guy the other day, just like, totally spraying water onto soil and grass from a hose! Like some kind of deranged madman lunatic from hell! So I did what any environmentally conscious person would do: I kicked him in the stomach, stole his wallet and went to the pub. No need to thank me, I’m just one guy, doing what he can in this crazy mixed up world.
Wait, I know where all the water’s gone! Check it out: there must be about five million 711’s in Melbourne, yeah? And each one has a fridge full of bottled water…by my calculations..five million times…carry the 2…(that’s the ‘2’ in ‘h2o’)…equals HEAPS. At LEAST.
I’ve actually been talking nonsense for a very good reason (a diversion from my usual ‘no reason’) – and that is as follows: There should be no ‘issue’ when addressing something as serious as a water shortage. There should be no arguments. There should be no politics involved. There should only be every human being doing whatever they can to minimise their wastage. If every industry, company and individual did that, there would be no ‘issue’. It is only when those who wish to protect their own selfish interests does a debate such as this arise. Can we rely on all people to do the right thing? No. Of course not. Such a suggestion is as ridiculous as the first two thirds of this article. Ahh! See that? Brought it back full circle! Pretty good….
On a final note, I’ll take this chance to implore people to not be scared of recycled water. In London, it’s said that the tap water has passed through around 20 people*, and I’ve got to say, it tastes better than the water in Richmond. We’re embarrassing ourselves as a nation when we react with ‘Eeeeeww!’ every time the suggestion is made. It’s perfectly safe. Deal with it. Cheers.
*I've subsequently found this claim is probably completely untrue. But I maintain there is no water on the sun.
