Grief, Depression and Heart Ache

Last August my Grandpa died. For our large extended family, it was the first death we had experienced. Suddenly my family unit that had always been so united now had a big hole that we knew would never, could never be filled. While the experience of losing a loved one was hard on us all, it was most difficult for my Gran who, only a few weeks prior, had celebrated their Golden 50th wedding anniversary. Gran had not only lost her husband, but the father of her seven children, grandfather of nine, her best friend, her lover and her soul mate. Her heart now broken, never to be whole again.

The tragedy of losing a loved one is something that we all experience at some stage in our lives, often more than once. Grief is a serious and long lasting emotion that can lead to serious health problems including depression and insomnia, and often increase in its intensity around particular dates of the year such as Easter. Though helping a loved one through their grief can seem like a hard task, it is indeed a very simple one. And this is where the story of my action begins.

Every Easter, Grandpa would bake fresh hot cross buns and organise an Easter egg hunt for the grandchildren around the garden. And this years Easter marked the first year we would not have Grandpa to do these things. During the week leading up to Easter Sunday, I baked a fresh batch of Anzac biscuites, and put together a small pose` of flowers including lavender and Easter daisy to form an “Easter bouquet”, and together with a thoughtful Easter card, headed over to pay Gran a visit. She invited me to stay for lunch and we had a good long talk over several cups of tea and sandwiches about all the fun times and experiences we remembered of time spent with Grandpa.

Music has always been a passion of my grandparents and often Grandpa would join Gran and I at the piano to sing along to the folk songs we would play, and so before I left I took my seat at the piano once again and played through a few of the ‘good old favourites’ of ours.

The short visit to Grans took up little of my time, but meant so much to her. To sit and talk with someone who will lend you an ear and a shoulder to cry on if you need is important for people experiencing grief. To simply listen and be there for a loved one is an action that comes with little personal cost to ourselves but producers many benefits for all involved. It made me feel good to reconnect with Gran and share stories and home baked biscuites, and I know it meant a lot to Gran to have those who love her with her in this time of grief.

Helping those close to us through hard times is simple yet so meaningful, even the smallest gesture can raise someones spirits and help them through their grief and sorrow. It is something we are all very much capable of achieving and is also a personally rewarding experience for ourselves.